Gaye Levy
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The challenges of living a self-sufficient, prepper lifestyle can be overwhelming when attempting to do it all yourself. If you are lucky, you have a spouse or partner on board to share both the work and the joys of self-reliance. On the other hand, I know from the many comments and emails that I receive that a good percentage of you are on your own.
Some carry the torch alone due to circumstance but others soldier along without assistance because family and friends scoff and consider them loony tunes. Believe me, I feel your pain.
My goal this year is to bring together some of the brightest minds in the preparedness world to help us figure out how to bring a sense of community into our lives. You have already heard from Richard Broome in his “Call to Action“, and my own plan for community survival is in the works.
Today, though, I want to share some wisdom from Jim Cobb, long-term survivalist and prolific author of some the best prepper books out there. I recently reached out to Jim and requested permission to reprint the Appendix from his book, Countdown to Preparedness. I chose this piece because, in those few pages, Jim laid down some rules for “Aunt Jane” and “Uncle Bob” who are assuming that they will show up at your door so that you can take care of them following a disaster.
He takes a novel approach and I think it is a good one.
Bringing Friends and Extended Family into the Fold
By now, you have friends and family who are aware of your prepping tendencies. In fact, I’m willing to bet you’ve heard at least some variation of, “If something does happen, I’m coming to your place.” As you continue on your path of disaster readiness, you’ll hear that quite a bit.
I’m a big proponent of community survival. By that, I mean I believe that the odds of survival are greatly enhanced when you have a group of people working at it, rather than just going it alone. So I’m not necessarily opposed to having certain people show up after a disaster hits . . . as long as they know what they’re getting into.
A fellow prepper, we’ll call him “Nick,” drafted a letter that he’s given to select family and friends. These are people who are likely to show up, and their presence would be welcome for a variety of reasons. Here’s my own variation on that letter.
Dear Family Member,
As many of you already know, I am actively preparing for potential disasters or crises that may be coming. While I am concentrating my efforts on more mundane situations, such as power outages or weather-related emergencies, I do not discount the possibility of a more long-term calamity occurring at some point down the road.
Should such an emergency come to pass, while I’d love to take you all in, provide for your needs, and keep you safe, I cannot and will not do that if it means placing my immediate family at greater risk. With that in mind, I am extending to you this offer. If you are willing to do at least some of the work involved with regard to prepping, specifically either purchasing supplies or providing the funds for me to do so on your behalf, I can properly package and store them for long-term use. Doing so will ensure we all have enough food, water, and supplies to make it through whatever life decides to throw our way.
I will also do all I can to help you properly plan for emergencies and prepare your own household for disasters.
Here is just a sample list of the types of supplies we will need, should a long-term event take place and we all end up under one roof.
Food Medical/First Aid Security/Defense
- Beans
- Prescription medications
- Firearms
- Rice
- Bandages
- Ammunition
- Baking supplies
- Various OTC medications
- Cleaning kits and supplies
- Canned meats
- Gauze
- Two-way radios
- Canned vegetables
- Ace bandages
- Gun safes/locks
- Honey
- Antibiotic ointments
- Non-firearm weapons
- Canned fruits
- Burn creams
- Peanut butter
- Medical equipment
- Coffee/tea
- Canned soups
Storage items Clothing (for each person) Miscellaneous gear
- Plastic bags
- Outerwear
- Bleach
- Plastic buckets
- Several pair pants
- Oil lamps, wicks, fuel
- Canning jars
- Several pair underwear
- Charcoal
- Canning lids/rings
- Several shirts
- Toilet paper
- Totes
- Several pair of socks
- Aluminum foil
- Barrels
- One or two pair of boots
- Matches/lighters
- Water filtration equipment
Again, that is just a small sampling of the supplies and equipment we’d need to provide for all of our needs. Adding just one extra mouth to feed, without having accounted for it ahead of time, substantially decreases the available food for all.
Here is what I propose. If you plan on showing up here after a major disaster, make it easier on all involved by either regularly contributing items such as outlined above or by providing funds every week or month for us to purchase supplies for you. The items purchased are and will always be yours, to do with what you feel necessary. For example, let’s say a year from now your employer downsizes the staff and you find yourself unemployed. The food purchased on your behalf can and will be made available to you as needed.
Consider prepping in this fashion like insurance against an uncertain future.
I would encourage you to give this some serious thought. Then, we can discuss the finer details. I’m sure we can work something out.
The idea here is to help these folks be accountable and get them involved. Explain to them that you’re willing to store the items and maintain them as needed, but they need to provide them to you.
In some situations, you may find a few of these folks are willing to just give you some money here and there for you to purchase items on their behalf.
Another approach is to explain to them that they can’t just show up empty-handed. You might give them a list similar to the above and explain that should they need to come to your place for safety, they should bring as many of those items as they can carry.
The idea here is to allow these friends and family members a way to be accountable for themselves, albeit with your assistance. This also serves to give you a clear conscience. You’ve taken the time to lay out exactly what they need to do in order to provide for their own needs should a crisis come to pass. The ball is then in their court, so to speak. If they decline the offer, so be it. It becomes their problem, not yours.
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The Final Word
At the beginning of this article, I said that I feel your pain. It is true that I have a husband on board with my prepping activities but other than that, no other family membersprep. I have three local friends that are preppers and a few others that want to learn. Local “experts” who will go unnamed, want nothing to do with me.
Everyone else has told me that they will show up at my doorstep with the big one hits. Alas, they are in for a big surprise.
As we continue to explore community survival, I encourage you to share your own thoughts so that together we can learn from each other and move one step closer to earning the respect we deserve for having the foresight to prepare.
Enjoy your next adventure through common sense and thoughtful preparation!
Gaye
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35 Responses to “Community Survival: Bringing Friends and Family Into the Fold”
I read an article on the “Backdoor Survival” Blog site called
“Define the Prepper Movement With A Call Action”
One of the discussions in reply to this blog asked,
“How do we get children on board the prepper movement”
Well folks let’s take a page from our government and the Liberals and start to teach the children in groups. Let’s teach them First Aid, Cooking and the Preserving of foods, Marksmanship, Animal Husbandry, Rabbit, Chicken Goat, Sheep Raising, Camping, Hiking, Ax and knife skills, Knot tying, Lashing, Pioneer Skills, map Reading, Compass use and a host of other topics necessary for a prepper to survive.
Folks we ALREADY have an organization for teaching our children survival/prepper topics. It’s called the “Scouting” movement. Boy and Girl Scouts. Get active become a scoutmaster, have your church or local service agency (Moose/Elks/Eagles Lodge, Lions Club, VFW/American Legion Post) or find a place where you can meet and set one up or join a group already established. Trust me the scoutmaster would appreciate the additional help.
You would have a group of young people who would love to know first aid, knots, how to lash items together, fire building, cooking and many other outdoor skills. By teaching them you build your skills.
4H hits a lot of these areas, as well. “Self-sufficiency” disguised as farming.
I was a Girl Scout myself, if you want your daughter to learn to sell cookies then go for it. Otherwise you might want to look into their Venture Program. I think it’s the same as Boy Scouts it’s just open to boys and girls. I’m not sure of the age limits.
Gaye, How do you suggest finding like minded people? I have a very small family and friends circle, and feel weird joining say, a Meetup group, and planning with strangers. Do I just need to get over that?
Hi, Lisa. I saw your comment and thought I would let you know I did exactly what you feel weird about. I must say that the people in my Meetup group are wonderful, come from all walks of life and not a one of us are wearing any tinfoil hats. Please give it a try as it has really helped to increase my skill set.
I wish I had the answers, Lisa. I am in a similar situation with s small family who does not prep and a very small circle of friends. (I know that many of you will be surprised by that but it is true; I am quite reclusive.)
If you have a CERT group in your area, that might be a good start. I wish there was one in mine. A HAM radio group (check out AARL) might also be a good place to meet like minded people. The Red Cross was a bust for me; your mileage may vary.
I am really making an effort in 2015 to bring some sort of local community together here where I live. I hope to find 6 others but even 3 will be better than nothing. As always, I will share my progress on the blog.
There is at least one so-called “national” Preppers Network; it has organizations throughout the country. Just go to your state and see what’s possible. However, I’d like to caution you: preppers come in all kinds, just like any other group. I had one guy who very clearly is “trolling” for females (and I’m pretty sure he wasn’t looking for a ‘wife’) through his local group. Seriously. Be careful, but, they are ONE WAY to connect locally. I should add I do know preppers who have met like this, married, and could not be happier.
One way we began to “ferret out” like-minded people in our community: we had a friend who trusted us, who got her small church to make available their multi-purpose room for an “Always Prepared” Mini-Seminar. We talked about our many years of experience with the American Red Cross (true) and the lessons learned: not once did we ever serve one individual or one family who was actually ‘prepared’ for what hit them. Our motto as a result: be prepared for anything, at any time, for any reason. No further explanation needed. As a result, we trained a handful of ‘newbies’, who are now training others. We did this on our own, and made no reference to the ARC at the time. Some came and did not choose to become involved, not because they weren’t like-minded, but, because they had so bought the ‘fear-factor’ of revealing themselves, they chose not to trust ANYONE, including us. You will meet those kinds. They probably won’t make it on their own, post-IHTF, but that is their choice to make.
That was confusing; I meant to indicate we did not tie this work in with the ARC.
Great letter and I will be modifying it a bit for my use. I have used local events to encourage people to at least get a 72 hour bag together. When I get a shrug or something negative in body language, I simply remind them of last winter when nothing was moving for 4 days. Did they need to get something from the store or did they have it? That’s when I usually get a negative response. My reply, “when you can survive going 5 days without the need for run to the store, then we can talk, meanwhile…..if it’s okay with you, can I teach your children some basic camping skills?”
Now, I have a better response. Anyone hear about the small plane that went down in Kentucky? It was a family plus a babysitter. The only survivor was a 7 year old girl. THIS will be why I want to teach whatever children I can. Please note what her father is said to have taught her.
//www.weather.com/news/news/kentucky-plane-crash-four-dead-seven-year-old-girl-survives
Excellent article. Thank you.
My sister said this to me just last October. I told her to take every scrap of food out of her house and put it into their motor home. Add everything out of the medicine cabinet, and
every shovel, rake, garden tool and then go get everything out of your closet. Drive to the nearest gas station and fill that big gas tank up and drive on down! If she could not do that, then I could not help her, Because I am already helping interested family who are getting somewhat ready. I said you need to help out here, not just show up.
How dare you place conditions on someone before you will help them. Just jok’n, and I love your response of ‘get on down here, don’t just show up’. Unfortunately that is exactly what most friends and relatives have in mind, along with all their ‘second sucker clan’ associates in tow, as I call them, that were too damn sorry to prep or take any proactive role in their own survival.
This is definitely a topic that weighs on my mind frequently. I’m not sure if I am quite ready to draw this line in the sand just yet but it very well may come to that point soon. The reasons for prepping is so crystal clear to me that it is hard for me to comprehend how so many many people can ignore and deny them so easily. I have already decided to go ahead and prep for some loved ones that I know will show up emptyhanded. I know I wouldn’t be able to turn them away, but I am just not capable to put enough away for everybody that I suspect might show up.
Great article. I am prepping for myself and my husband. My immediate family (i.e. my children and grandchildren) are aware of my prepping but think I am crazy and should be institutionalized for it. However, I know that life would be worthless to me if I didn’t have them with me after a disaster. So knowing myself the way I know myself. I am prepping for their arrival. They never say I will come to your place but I know my kids if something happens sooner or later all 5 will show up with spouses and kids in tow. So my preps are geared toward 20 people as if that is how many will arrive. I do this with the full knowledge that if the SHTF my family will be eventually thank me for it.
Excellent entry!
A good article. I think I am one up on the people that say they will come to uncle Johnnie’s place. The people that say that live over one tank of gasoline away. They wouldn’t know how make it here. The ones that live close, will I am already prepping for them, my children and grandchildren.
Thanks Gaye, that’s very good advice! Like the old saying goes, “walk a mile in my shoes and then you will understand”. It takes personal experience to understand the challenges of going it alone. It is not an impossible task but it does have it’s difficulties and they are not insurmountable.