Beware the Friend Who is Needy

Avatar Gaye Levy  |  Updated: August 24, 2021
Beware the Friend Who is Needy

moodWe all have one.  That so-called friend that will call every day for no reason other than to discuss your private business so that they can critique your day with the superiority of someone who knows better.  The relative or family member who asks about the most mundane aspects of your daily routine then choses to pass judgment.  The nosy neighbor who wants to know where you went and why.

All of these people are what I call the “needy”.  Their existence seems to require a knowledge of someone else’s life that goes beyond being sociable.  It is disruptive, it is annoying and dare I say downright rude.  And whereas being polite and sociable is a good thing, the excessively needy exhibit a certain arrogance that goes beyond common courtesy.  They are unwelcome intruders in to our personal space and potential adversaries that will turn to us for help when and if the SHTF.  (See ‘The Givers and The Takers-What Will You Do When SHTF?’)

These are harsh words, I know.  But to what end does it serve to share every living minute of daily life with someone else?  And even more important, how much of our personal security do we sacrifice in order to satisfy the emotional neediness of others?  As preppers and planners and models of self-sufficiency, we need to take these questions seriously.  Why?  These new best friends will be all over us when times are tough.  They will expect us to continue to feed their emotional needs and, even more dire, may expect us to take care of their physical needs as well.  After all, what are friends for?

Call me antisocial, but I feel that these intrusions into my personal life are an invasion of privacy and a disrespect of my right and my desire to live a quiet, peaceful and private life.  In my world, embracing quiet solitude is at least as important as the enjoyment of an engaging social life.  Perhaps more so.

So today’s message is to the the needy.  If you are one of those people that always needs to know my business, that always needs to be right, and that always needs to better the next guy, just go away and leave me alone.  I don’t need you and will politely dismiss any contact you initiate.  After all, this is my life and my choice.  You have no say.  Period.

On the other hand, if you are an ordinary Joe who soldiers through life in a reasonable, respectful and knowledge-seeking manner, come on over and let’s share an afternoon chatting over a cup of coffee.  I will find you interesting and engaging and hope you will find me to be the same.

Enjoy your next adventure through common sense and thoughtful preparation!


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8 Responses to “Beware the Friend Who is Needy”

  1. Great article!

    I think we ALL can relate to the type of people that you are referring to.

    I almost never say anything but read all of your articles, since I find them all very useful. For me I show my appreciation by clicking on your links and getting some shopping done at the same time.

    Please keep them coming! : )

  2. I suspect this would be a common complaint among the prepared – non-preppers critiquing their lifestyle. After all, the world didn’t end today either.

    It’s tough if you go “all in” with friends or family on a particular calamity, whether it’s the threat of Y2k, terrorism, nuclear war/emp, financial collapse, or whatever – and nothing happens.

    I made that mistake years ago, lesson learned. I only offer advice when asked now, and always add something like “But hey, I was wrong about both the Soviets and Y2k, so what do I know?”. But I am the person that always has fire, a knife, or a band-aid though, and it rubs off on them a little without having to say a word.

    Maybe I read too much between the lines of the original post, if so then this comment is way off topic. Just sounded like a complaint of mine from years gone by. Be prepared, but be prepared to be wrong too. Take care all.

  3. Well put article. If anything else, a lesson learned for me. If I have a temptation to meddle in anyone’s business in the future, I will think twice after reading this. On another note, per what I have been reading on alternative news sites for the last week, two things: time is short before something bad is going to happen (need to tie up any loose ends before it does) and if that law passes the Senate regarding suspension of due process of law, things are going to get dicey. For those who don’t know, at the beginning of the Civil War, the President suspended habeas corpus.

  4. But here is what YOU need to know:

    1. It’s later then you think.

    2. Food will be worth more then money in the future.

    3. Someone you know intends to either sponge off you or take what you have when things get tough.

    4. Someone you don’t know intends to either sponge off you or take what you have when things get tough.

    5. By the time it becomes obvious to everyone it will be too late to prepare.

    6. If you don’t prepare then you are the one planning on sponging off someone you know or to take what they have when things get tough.

  5. I have a sister-in-law who has lived her whole life (nearly 70 years now) snooping into other people’s business and making it her goal in life to spread the word. The trouble is that she is so evil if what she hears about someone isn’t juicy enough, she embellishes until it’s a really good story. She has literally ruined lives with her incessant gossip. I don’t understand what makes people like her tick. I’m glad I don’t understand her because if I did I would be too much like her – and I don’t ever want to go there! People sent her so much hate mail that my brother had to disconnect their internet so that she had no access to email, etc. She is a horrid woman. Even her own father doesn’t want her in his house because she reads all of his mail and listens to his phone messages, etc. She is not happy if she is not meddling. And she always thinks she knows better than anyone else what’s best in every situation.

    Sounds just like your description, no?

    • Sounds like you need to make up something really juicy that will make her sound completely insane when she starts spreading it around. George Hayduke’s “Get Even” series might give you some inspiration…

      On a less drastic note, has anyone sat her down and said ” If you go through my mail, I’ll have you arrested: that’s a federal crime. I’m not kidding. Knock this shit off.” Or words to that effect?

  6. Very well said. I have had to deal with this type of person most of my life, and when push comes to shove, they want their way. That is why I do not trust most people. If you do not give in, they bitch and tell you that you owe them. YA RIGHT

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